


My Big Fat Werewolf Wedding

by Sourwoif



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Movie Fusion, Based on a Tumblr Post, M/M, My Big Fat Werewolf Wedding
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-07
Updated: 2014-07-10
Packaged: 2018-02-07 20:26:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1912686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sourwoif/pseuds/Sourwoif
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based off of phdinlycanthropy's post. </p><p>All nice werewolf boys had three things to do in their lives: 1. get mated to a nice werewolf girl, 2. make nice werewolf kids, and 3. always provide for all of your family until the day you died.</p><p>And Derek was the failed example of what happened when the nice werewolf boys didn't do the three things.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Nice Werewolf Boy

The dank, musty air of 5:00 am New York had no problem infiltrating the car’s interior. It was raining, no surprise there, and neither was the distant flashing of the family restaurant, _Growling Hales_. The car came to a lurching stop at a red light. Derek pressed himself back into his seat and let out a jaw cracking yawn, adjusted his glasses and smacking his lips blearily. He could practically feel the depressed stare of his dad as he turned to him, fingers tapping on the wheel. He was counting down in his head until his dad made some remark.

“You should think about getting mated,” His dad started, clearing his throat and looking forward awkwardly, “You’re starting to look old.” All Derek did in response was look ahead again, staring at that sign a block away, his face sagging in exhaustion as if to prove the point.

His dad had been saying that since Derek turned fifteen, because all nice werewolf boys had three things to do in their lives: 1. get mated to a nice werewolf girl, 2. make nice werewolf kids, and 3. always provide for all of your family until the day you died.

 

 

> As soon as his dad pulled up to the curb, Derek shuffled out as quickly as he could, head ducked under his frumpy coat to avoid the rain. He turned on the flickering lights as he entered, taking his dad’s coat and hanging it with his own on the hanger. Derek grimaced as he peeled off the sweater he wore over his shirt, not caring how it affected his hair. He stared out at the restaurant, the empty seats reminding him how all the happy and fulfilled people were probably sleeping right now.

When he’d been growing up, it was obvious the differences he’d have to face. First and foremost, he was a werewolf. Werewolves, while not exactly rare, did not make a large part of the population. They weren’t hated per say, but they were usually avoided. Just like if you avoided that one kid who looked like he was from a country ending in – _stan_ in elementary school and sat with your familiar friends who had the same noses as you and the same eyebrows, and parents who packed them sandwiches.

By the time Derek was allowed to start school, he knew it was going to be as horrible as older siblings made it seem. The other boys and girls, they were delicate and _human_ , with nails that didn’t become claws and eyes that didn’t glow. They’d sit there, discussing their dolls and toy trucks, showing off their gnarly scrapes and bruises. He was a skinny werewolf who lost his eyebrows and growled if you spooked him, and that was only if you could manage to sneak up on him. He didn’t even get _bullied_ , that’s how avoided he was. And maybe that was his bullying, the fact that no one had any idea how to deal with him and didn’t want to bother to figure out how either.

He remembered the first time, walking into the cafeteria and not meeting anyone’s eyes as he plopped down at an empty table. He went to a small school, on the outskirts of New York, and by the time he attended, his older siblings had already moved on to bigger and better things, like middle school. It was the most obnoxious thing in the world, sitting there and being the only werewolf. He could hear everyone snickering, and unlike loner humans on their first day of school, Derek could hear _exactly_ what they were saying.

For a moment that became an entire lifetime, he’d wished to become human, simply so he could be accepted so easily. He imagined every night what it would be like to show bruises like trophies, to jump off trees as if it was insanely dangerous, to have to walk with everyone during passing period and try to guess what would be for lunch instead of guessing it two days prior thanks to his sensitive nose. Instead, Derek sat alone at the table, the empty space mocking him just as the humans behind him were.

He’d done his best to ignore them, but that’s impossible when someone gets the balls to confront a werewolf. All he had done was unpeel the lid to his lunch, which was a thick steak, probably bigger than the ones given at “authentic” western restaurants that are there just to give people an excuse to eat like the animals cowboys used to hunt. Derek had already gotten his fork out to dig in when he heard, “What is _that?_ ” behind him.

Derek twisted around with a frown, “It’s steak,” He’d mumbled as quietly as he could without being silent.

“ _Steak_? What are you, a wolf? That’s gigantic!” The boy had laughed, with his stupid human face and his stupid human friends that he so desperately wanted to be a part of, “You’re gonna turn into a _fat_ wolf, who the heck brings steak for lunch?” They’d cackled, and he’d ducked his head in embarrassment. When he’d brought the topic up with his mother she’d smacked him upside the head with a large, wooden spoon and gave him a  lecture about healthy werewolf boys needing proper diets and that he wasn’t the _same_ as those humans, as if that was something to be proud of.

And while those rude humans got to go to soccer and baseball practice after school, he had to go to Werewolf School. It was as obnoxious and barbaric as it sounded.

“If your mate is fertile and you are competing with an omega and a beta, what should you bring her as a gift to prove your worthiness?” The stout, little werewolf teacher would ask, the entire class responding with, “A large goat killed on your pack’s land.”

His mother was the alpha, and not a day went by where she wasn’t regally walking around the house, giving advice to groveling pack members and overseeing paperwork with her gold rimmed glasses. She was the master of leadership. And guilt.

“Cora, don’t pick at your meat,” She would remark, sitting at the head of the table as they ate breakfast, “When I was your age, we didn’t have the chance to pick at food before someone would steal it from us and hunt us out of our land.” She would say, looking at them all with those judgmental eyes.

“Mother,” He had whined, looking up from his homework, “Why do I have to go to Werewolf School?”

“When you find your mate, don’t you want to be able to provide for your family?” She’d admonished, going back to her newspaper as he rolled his eyes and went back to his homework.

They lived in a forest, forty five minutes away from any civilization or neighbor, out in the middle of nowhere. Tucked away into the nook of the woods was their modest, hand built mansion. It had a large front yard that was littered with gnawed on woodland creature statues. He once made a remark comparing himself to Courage the Cowardly Dog and his dad had thrown a shoe at his head.

His dad believed in only two things: werewolves should educate non-werewolves about being werewolves, and that any emotional distress, ranging from a bad break up to schizophrenia, could be fixed with hot cocoa.

When Derek was twelve, his older and more perfect sister, Laura, was fifteen, his younger sister, Cora, was eleven. They’d sit at the breakfast table every morning before school, while his dad lectured them on the “history of our people, the great evolved beings, the Werewolves”.

“Now,” His dad would say, chasing a sausage on his plate, quickly shoving it in his mouth before continuing, “Name three things that werewolves are better at than humans.” Derek and Cora would stare blankly at their food, and Laura would immediately pipe up.

“Running, hunting and hearing,” She’d say proudly, a smug look on her face as she looked around the table for praise.

“Very good, Laura, very good,” Their dad would remark, while Derek barely refrained from groaning and rolling his eyes. “Now give me anyone-“

“Any person you have heard of,” He repeated while he was driving Derek and his few human friends to school, “And I will show you how they are related to werewolves.”

The silence in the car was palpable as Derek’s human friends glanced at each other with that look that said, “I told you we should have just walked”. Derek closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose as his dad decided to fill the void with his voice once more.

“Alright, Queen Elizabeth!” His dad announced, a hand waving to emphasize his enthusiasm, “Her great, great grandfather was found in the woods every full moon,” He tapped his fingers on the car wheel, “Never missed a single one! And he died when he was moved into that suffocating city, London. Werewolf. There you go.” Derek snorted, staring out the window petulantly. He could practically smell the haughtiness emanating from the humans in the backseat, especially when the blonde girl leaned forward.

“Okay, Mr. Hale, how about Gerard Argent?” She said with a smirk, a knowing look in her eyes. Derek looked at his dad nervously, hoping- no, _praying_ , that his dad wouldn’t say something stupid.

“Gerard Argent?” He repeated, staring at the road with a furrowed brow, “Ah- _Argent_ ,” He said again, but with a cheerful tone in his voice, “Argent is French, so he’s French, and as we all know, French people get their hairy bodies from werewolf ancestors.” He finished with a grin, and Derek slid down his seat with a miserable groan. He was never going to live this down at school.

When he pulled to the curb for school, Derek scrambled out, ready to sprint away from the car but his dad stopped him, “Derek!” He twisted around to look at his dad, tugging his backpack up, “You should be proud to be a werewolf.” His dad said firmly, staring at Derek sternly. In response, he nodded halfheartedly and ran off to class, leaving behind his dad and his werewolf superiority.

A few years went by and dad brought his mother from Mexico, as if they weren’t already odd enough. Within the first few moments of arriving to their home, Derek knew she’d fit in, because she was batshit crazy, _"_ _¡Tú, maldito cazador, nunca me secuestrarás!"_  She’d snarled, before shoving his dad down and sprinting out of the house.

“Mother, please! Hunters aren’t around anymore!” His dad had yelled, the entire family trailing out of the house to chase her through the woods.  They’d told Derek’s grandmother that hunters were all retired now, but she still slept with her claws out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spanish translation is roughly: You fucking hunter, you'll never kidnap me.
> 
> Any grammar issues are my own fault! If you notice it, send me a message so I can fix it.
> 
> based off of http://phdinlycanthropy.tumblr.com/post/90911969777/phdinlycanthropy-my-big-fat-werewolf-wedding this post.
> 
> All art is mine. : ) My tumblr is sourwoif.tumblr.com


	2. Nokay

Nice werewolves who don’t find a mate work in the family restaurant. That was where Derek was; day after day, year after year, now thirty and way past his expiration date. He jolted out of his depressing thoughts when his mother came into the diner, Uncle Peter trailing right after her. He hadn’t noticed that almost everyone was already here. He’d been reminiscing like an old woman again.

“Derek!” She greeted, walking over and kissing him on his cheek, “You closed last night, and you’re opening this morning?” His mother questioned.

“I have no life,” He answered wryly, nothing but truth in his words. His mother responded by giving him a crushing hug, to which he croaked, “Mother, you’re crushing my ribs.” She let go with a chuckle and brushed by him to check the inventory behind the counter.

“Have you seen Aaron?” Peter asked, hanging up his coat. Derek shook his head in response, watching his uncle curse, “Damnit, he was supposed to help me fix the car.”

His mother frowned at the papers, “Cora,” She called, “Did you check the meat before you signed for it?”

“It smells fresh!” Cora peeked from where she in the kitchen.

“And it better be fresh!” He didn’t know why his mother bothered, if there was anything remotely not organic and fresh forty feet within the restaurant, the entire family would be nagging about it. It was why there was rarely a hobo spotted close by.  “Peter, eat something before you go to work.”

Peter grunted some answer, taking his coffee from the counter and turning around to stalk towards his mate. If being a snarky asshole was an Olympic sport, his Uncle Peter would have won the gold medal every time.  “Nina, you couldn’t wait for me before you started eating like you don’t get fed?” He grouched while taking his seat, his mate just rolling her eyes and muttering a half assed apology as she kept eating her steak and eggs. “I’ve just felt so bored and tired, lately.” He complained, “I’m sick of having to deal with everyone’s negligence, I just want a nap.”

“You need some hot cocoa.” His dad said firmly, appearing seemingly out of nowhere and pulling out a thermos, pouring it into Peter’s half full mug of coffee. Peter grimaced, having jerked his mug away too late and was now stuck with hot chocolate coffee. “This stuff works, I swear. Don’t make that face. Last night, I was having night terrors, nearly had a heart attack if that was possible. I took a sip of hot cocoa and boom, slept like a drugged baby.” He said proudly.

Peter stared at him blankly for a moment before turning back towards Nina, “Why didn’t you wait for me?” He repeated with a pout. Nina gestured to Derek’s dad.

“Fernando wanted to talk,” She muttered, shoving another forkful into her mouth. Peter stared at her before looking at Derek’s dad, eyebrow quirked judgmentally. In response, Fernando sighed and took a seat across from them, clearing his throat and checking to make sure that Derek wouldn’t listen in.

“Like I was saying,” He huffed, “I told him I’ll send him to Mexico to find a good mate.”

“He’s not _too_ old.” Nina snorted, but blinked when they Peter and Fernando both gave her a look. They all turned to stare at Derek as he robotically poured water into a glass with dead eyes. They turned back to one another with a wince.

“He’s okay.” Fernando said, taking a bite of eggs.

“In Mexico, don’t tell anyone how old he is.” Nina recommended.

“He won’t go.”

“He won’t go?!” Peter and Nina asked simultaneously, their faces incredulous.

“It’s like-“Fernando whispered, “Like he doesn’t even _want_ to get a mate.”

Nina and Peter reared back with a gasp, shaking their heads and muttering under their breath. They all turned their heads when they heard Laura at the door, her kids running inside.

“Alright boys, careful, no running!” She called, while they ignored her orders. Laura had mated young and became a lean, mean, werewolf breeding machine.

“RAARGH!” Cora growled at them, pancake batter smeared on her cheeks to give her a wild appearance, the kids shrieking in response. They giggled afterwards and ran through the door to the kitchen.

“I can’t stay long,” Laura said to Derek, grabbing the coffee pot and pouring a drink, “I have to drop the boys off for the children’s wolf hunt at school and then head to Ross, they’re having a sale on bras and lord knows I need them.” She rambled, setting down the pot and chugging back her coffee before bustling past Derek, but not before ordering him to clean up her mess. Derek sighed, head tilting as he heard more people come bursting through the door.

“Oh my god, Sarah fucking had one job-“

“Shut up, Aaron, god all you can do is nag!”

Derek watched them with disinterest. His cousins had two volumes, loud and louder. He set two mugs of coffee down as soon as they approached the counter, still bickering amongst eachother.

“-with your fucking dumb-ass boyfriend. Thanks Derek.” Aaron grabbed his mug, walking over to the table where Peter and Nina sat across from Laura and Derek’s dad. He leaned down to get hugs and kisses from Peter and Nina, who frowned at him afterwards.

“Why didn’t you come to help me with the car, Aaron? I was waiting for you.”

“Daaad,” Aaron sighed, taking a sip of his coffee, “I had to drop Diane off at work- and now I have to go open the Travel Agency because jackass and her dumb ass boyfriend are too busy.”

“Dad!” Sarah protested, “Tell him I open up the Dry Cleaners every freaking day and I think it’s time he did something for a day.”

“Excuse me? Do you know who was at the Dry Cleaners this morning? My wife!” Aaron snapped.

“You’re always at the gym, working your ass and your pecs, and checking yourself out in the mirror…” Sarah talked over him, which he then did the same.

“Don’t talk about my muscles.”

“You’re so fucking lazy.”

“You and your dumb-ass boyfriend do nothing!”

“Hey Aaron,” Sarah sneered, “You been slacking on your workout? You’re looking a little flabby.”

“You know what Sarah? Bite me.” He punched her in the arm, storming past her out the door, Nina yelling, “Be nice!” while Sarah whined and clung to Peter.

Derek just watched them, coffee pot still in hand. It was like his personal soap opera, every morning. Laura checked her watch and stood up, “Alright boys, come on, let’s go!” She yelled, walking up to the counter to gather up her things. She accidentally brushed the menus off onto the floor, cursing before bending down to pick them up, “Who left the menus here?” Laura went through them, setting them right and pausing when she noticed a college brochure in the pile. “Derek, what is this?” She asked, frowning at him and holding it up. He stared dumbly, not responding, “Derek, what. Is. This?”

“I dunno.” He mumbled, shrugging. She huffed and crumpled up the application, throwing it in the trash before ushering her kids out the door.

He watched her leave, her irritated growls and reprimands echoing behind her. Derek glanced around to make sure no one was watching, leaning down to pull out the brochure and tuck it into his pocket.

“It’s okay. He’s okay.” Nina reassured Fernando, returning to their conversation, just with Sarah sitting with them as well.

“Okay? Okay?! Nokay!” Fernando sputtered.

“Laura’s already settled with three kids!” Peter interjected, staring at Nina, “And he’s still here!”

They were oblivious to Derek taking the orders of the customers sitting behind them, lost in their conversation.

“At least you have Derek to run the restaurant.” Nina amended.  Derek glanced over, nodding absentmindedly as he wrote the order, but his ear on their conversation now that he heard his name. He stiffened when Peter spoke.

“Mhm, it’s true,” Peter snorted, “Derek will never leave you and Talia.”

Derek waited until it was time for him to take out the trash, taking his time as he did. He let out a shaky breath as the thick, steel door shut behind him. The cold, New York air greeted him, it made his lips tingle and his eyes water, although the latter might have been a result of something else. He threw out the trash and took a few steps away, staring up at the grey and mottled sky. He sat down on some crates, pulling out the brochure from his pocket. At first, he kept crumpling it, almost in anger, but then he smoothed it out, opening it up and staring at it longingly.

He wished he had a different life. Where he was attractive, and braver, and stronger than what he was now. Hell, he just wanted to be happy, that was good enough too. But it was useless for him to dream, because dreaming did nothing except make him thirty years old without a single change in his life to be proud of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm following the movie plot almost exactly, so if you're waiting for Stiles, he's not showing up for a few more chapters! Be patient, these chapters are all necessary.
> 
> Again, all errors are mine, if you notice a mistake don't hesitate to message me so I can fix it!


	3. The Pale Angel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The love interest suddenly emerges.

Derek was forcing a half grimace of a smile at a customer, pouring them some coffee when he’d seen him. It was a quick flash, barely anything at all, but his head jerked up and his eyes tracked him nonetheless. _Come inside, please come in here, this restaurant, right here, please_ , his brain had whispered as he watched the burnet man turn the corner and…step right into the restaurant, hallelujah. He was pale, damn near white as paper- but that was probably thanks to the cold weather. Little moles were splattered on his face like human Dalmatian spots, and his upturned nose was adorable when paired with honey eyes and bowed lips. He made Derek weak in the knees honestly, and he completely ignored Derek as he walked by too.

He went to a table already occupied by a caramel skinned man with a lopsided chin and puppy eyes. For a heart stopping moment, Derek wondered if they were together, but then his eyes narrowed in on the wedding ring on the waiting man, and the lack of one on the mole covered angel. Either they were going to have a filthy affair on the tables of the restaurant, or they were just friends. He went with the second option.

“Hey, man!”

Derek listened on the conversation subtly, making sure not to stare openly as he did.

“Dude, how are you?”  The chin guy got up and pulled pale angel into a hug, they sat down, and Derek crept closer as subtly as he could, pretending to care about the other customers placed conveniently close to their table.

“I’m good, tired like hell, but still good. Cute place, though.”

“Yeah, it’s great. You missed such an awesome party last night, though!” The chin guy riffled through his pocket before pulling out his phone and shoving it in the pale angel’s face, “That could have been you! Totally mouth fondling this girl, she was so your type.”

Derek was very obviously coming closer now, taking slow, measured steps as if the humans would scare if they saw him walking toward their table too quickly.

“You already set me up with her.” The pale angel snorted, sneaking a bite of the other guy’s food.

“Her? Nah, man.”

“Yeah dude, Danny’s party, like a month ago.”

“Caitlyn? No, this is Selena.”

The pale angel took the chin guy’s phone and squinted at it, “…They look the same.”

The phone was snatched back, “Yeah, well maybe. Want me to set you up, though?”

“They’re all the same, Scott.” The pale angel shook his head before turning and staring at Derek. He’d been noticed?! Oh, crap. Derek blinked slowly and realized he’d migrated to standing right next to their table, and had basically been intensely drilling the pale angel with his stare for the second half of their conversation. He didn’t move, frozen like a deer about to be run over by a hummer. Scott, the chin guy, slowly turned to stare at him as well when he noticed pale angel doing so.

“Uh…Hi?” Scott greeted hesitantly.

“Hi.” Derek immediately responded, mouth pursed like he sucked a lemon as he kept staring. The two stared at him right back, nodding their heads the way people did when they had nothing to say but were still uncomfortable with the silence. He finally realized how completely creepy he was being and snapped out of it, offering a forced laugh that probably looked more like a twitch, “Sorry, brain stopped. I wasn’t planning to eat you or anything.” He finally forced out, and the pale angel actually laughed, an amused grin on his face. Scott looked at him like he was mentally ill for actually laughing at Derek’s awkward joke. Derek stared at him when he laughed, mouth slightly open before he turned on his heel to quickly leave.

“Actually, could I have some coffee?” Scott asked, holding up his mug.

“Yeah, sure,” He mumbled, turning back and pouring. It wasn’t until he stepped back that he realized he poured the coffee into the pale angel’s mug instead of the one outstretched to him. Oops.

“Thanks,” The pale angel said, a smile on his lips as he looked up at Derek. Argh, if werewolves could have heart attacks that definitely would have been one. Derek nodded and bolted out of there, not even noticing that Scott was still waiting for his mug to be filled. Scott sighed, reaching over and taking the other’s coffee to make up for it.

Derek stood behind the counter, staring at them from a distance, mouth still slightly gaping.

“Alright, come on let’s go. I’ve gotta check on the animals at the clinic. The new interns are getting a test they’ve been studying for.”

“That’s too nice, Scott. You have to get them ready for the unintended. I’m giving my kids a pop quiz on poisonous gasses.” They were already packed up and ready to go, shuffling towards the counter to pay.

Derek slid down the counter while staring at them with narrowed eyes until only his thick eyebrows could be seen of his face. He watched the pale angel leave out the door, and didn’t notice Scott come up until the human was setting down money on the counter, looking down at him figuratively and literally.

“…Hi,” Derek mumbled, looking away as Scott shook his head and walked out the door as well, no doubt to tell all his friends about the creepy and stunted werewolf waiter from _Growling Hales_. He stood up after they left, still dazed and watching the door even though they were long gone.  If this had been some movie about his pathetic life, inspirational and love sick music would have probably been playing in the background.


	4. Is this seat taken?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for a change.

 

“Do you like it, dad?  For the new menu?” Cora asked, placing the drawn menu cover in front of him on the desk. She brushed her hands down her thighs, shifting from side to side as she watched him nervously. He barely glanced up, looking back at the inventory as he checked off things.

“Where did you get that?” He muttered. 

“I drew it.” Cora said hesitantly, shoving her hands in her pockets, “Do you like it?” Her dad snorted, waving her away, not answering her. She bit her lip and nodded, taking the menu away once more, nudging Derek as she walked past him back upstairs to the diner. Both their parents didn’t pay too much attention, their office was where they tended to especially ignore things.

Derek cleared his throat and stepped into his office, “Dad,” He tried to get his attention, “Dad.” Still nothing, well he’d just keep talking and hope his dad was listening. “Dad, I’ve been going through the inventory and noticed we order a lot more stuff than we need.” Silence, his dad just kept on sifting through paperwork obliviously, “And- uh, I was wondering, if- you know, if you wanted, we could get a new computer, get more current with the times, maybe with something that doesn’t still use Windows Vista.” He continued, crossing his arms tightly to keep from fidgeting, “And I know how to use computers, I got all A’s in all my computer courses in high school, but uh, there’s a lot new material out there now, since it’s been a while, so,” He shuffled out pulled out the rumpled college brochure, “If you want I could go to college to brush up on some stuff-“ 

He cut off when his dad abruptly looked up at him, a heartbroken expression on his face.  “Why?”

“Uh…why wha-“

“Why do you want to leave us?” His dad asked, more like wailed if that was possible, standing and grabbing Derek by the shoulders.

“I’m not leaving you,” Derek sighed, shaking his head and trying to peel his dad away, “Don’t you want me to actually do something with my life?”

“Yes!” His dad cried, “Get a mate, and make babies! That’s all I want, and you can’t do that for some reason.”  Fernando threw his hands up, “You look so- old! Ugh.” He stormed out of the office, leaving Derek there alone with his mother, who had watched them silently.

Derek plopped down in his dad’s seat, rubbing his hands against his face and barely resisting the stinging in his eyes. His mother came over, running a hand through his hair gently, “Derek, sweetheart, come on,” She urged, her voice as usual gentle yet strong, “I understand, you have hopes, and dreams.” She sat on the desk, tilting his chin to reveal his face to her, “You got that from my side of the family, after all.” Talia smiled. Derek shook his head, shrugging his shoulders and trying to look away, “Stop that, I’ll go talk to him.” 

“Mother, dad is as stubborn as an ass,” Derek complained, pulling away to poke at a pencil on the desk, “He’ll never agree to anything that isn’t some way of reproduction.”

“And who’s the alpha?” Talia hummed.

“…You are.”

“I’ m sorry I didn’t hear you,  who’s  the alpha?”

“You are.” Derek repeated, ducking his head to hide his smile while his mother ruffled his hair.

“Damn right. Remember Derek, don’t let the humans’ gender norms change our norms.” She stood up, “In this pack, the betas might do the work, but  _I _ decide what work needs to be done.”

***

“And what is exactly the matter with Derek going to school downtown?” Derek heard his mother calmly say through the door to their bedroom. 

“The humans sell wolfsbane downtown.” Fernando retorted, flopping on the bed grumpily. 

“What is that supposed to mean?” Talia snapped, hands on her hips as she stared down at her mate, “You think Derek is stupid enough to buy wolfsbane ?”

“No, but- someone will say, “Hey you, werewolf boy, I’ll let you be my friend if you help me sell this stuff”, and he’ll do it!” 

“He’s not an idiot, Fernando. He’s smart, and not nearly as naïve as you think he is!”

“I’m not saying he’s an idiot, but he’s smart enough for an unmated werewolf.” 

“Oh…” Talia’s eyebrows inched up, “You think unmated werewolves are incapable?”

“No I just-“

“Because if I recall correctly, I became an alpha before I ever mated you- in fact, I built half the business in this city alone without your help!” Talia growled, her eyes flashing red, “But you know what, you’re right, since I still need you to teach me how to go to the bathroom indoors.” She sarcastically  quipped;  brushing past him to the door and slamming it behind her while he called her name apologetically.

Talia  looked at Derek with a smirk, winking before gracefully descending the stairs to the kitchen. Derek stared after her with nothing but awe as he followed.

***

It was like that first step put him on an escalator, driving him forward even when he thought he was standing still. Next thing he knew, his mother was shoving applications in his arms and he was signed up for every computer class possible. The first day of college could’ve had a mob chasing after him and he still would’ve been grinning all day, his hand shooting up for any question his teacher asked of the class. 

Weeks passed by, and Laura took him shopping with her against his will. She helped him pick out a natural hair gel that didn’t irritate his nose, and even bought him a new electric razor that didn’t buzz as loudly as other ones.  It had taken her and his cousin Aaron four hours in the mall to pick him out new clothes too. Derek didn’t know what was going on, but when they got home, they shoved him into the bathroom with a pair of jeans and a Henley, the gel, and the razor before locking the door. It took him an hour to finally leave the bathroom, but when he did, Aaron’s mouth dropped open and Laura pretended to swoon.

The next day, his mother took a day off and dragged him to an optometrist, who decided that even as a werewolf his vision could be fixed with simple Lasik. He was walking out the same day, blinking rapidly as his eyes healed over, while his mother took his glasses and stomped them into dust.  

One day he walked into the college cafeteria with his bagged lunch, heading toward an empty table before pausing and turning around to face the table full of laughing humans. He took a deep breath and walked over, flashing the smile he’d been practicing in the mirror, “Hi, is this seat taken?”

A blonde girl, Erica, he’d later find out, gave him a sultry look before grinning, “Hell no, get your ass on it.” 

He immediately had, unable to stop from laughing at any and all jokes at the table. His cheeks actually started to sting from smiling, and when he took a giant bite out of his sandwich, he felt fulfilled, even though he had to eat three more sandwiches to actually feel full.

Derek had been passing the college message board the other day when he noticed a paper. “COMPUTERS AND TOURISM SEMINAR”, it read in big capital letters, and he immediately pulled it off the board and folded it into his bag, a new idea sprouting in his head as he quickly jogged toward his car.

***

“That’s what I’m saying, mother,” Derek exclaimed, “Being a travel agent isn’t exactly my dream job, but it’s something different.”

She and Peter stared at him quietly, smiles tugging at their mouths as he walked around the office, subtly called Full Moon Travel Agency . 

“There’s this seminar that’s going to be all about using technology with traveling, and it’ll boost your business profits at least two hundred percent, Peter,” Derek continued, “And you’ll have time to travel and vacation with Nina more, and I’ll do all the work, I promise, just please, please,  will you hire me I -“

“Derek.” Peter interrupted, tilting his head at his red-faced nephew, “Of course.”

Derek gave the widest, most honest smile he ever felt his face could manage, not caring that he probably looked like a bucktoothed  rabbit as his sister used to call him. He enveloped Peter in a tight hug, his mother joining in while he kept sputtering gratitude and Peter kept calling him an idiot for  thinking he’d say no.

***

“We have to make Fernando think it was his idea.” Talia added to whatever Peter was planning to help Derek leave the restaurant. 

“He’ll figure it out,” Derek said, only to be shushed by both of them. If they were any other pack, his mother would just use her authority as alpha to do whatever she pleased, but alas, she respected and treated everyone like equals, even if it meant that they had to make convoluted plans to convince people to do what she wanted.

“I’ll do it, I can do it easily,” Peter interrupted Talia, “I am pro at this.”

“You can’t convince a three year old girl Santa isn’t real, Peter, don’t give me that shit.” Talia snorted, “Whenever you talk, people assume everything you say is a lie.”

“Was that necessary?” Peter grumbled, rubbing his chest as if he was stabbed. “Do you even want my help?”

“Yes I want your help!”

“Then tell me what to say!” Peter paused before narrowing his eyes, “But don’t tell me what to say.”

“Perfect.”

***

Talia stared at Peter across the table, where he was sitting and sipping tea. It was  the late morning , so  the usual rush of customers  had calmed to a pleasant murmur in the restaurant.

“So,” Talia started loudly, causing Fernando to jump and frown at her, “Peter, how has your business been?” 

Peter wasn’t paying attention, still sipping tea before coughing when she kicked him under the table, “Business? Oh- bad, really bad, so bad,” Peter set down his tea, shaking his head and frowning at his lap.  Talia barely refrained from smacking a hand to her face at his horrible acting.

“What’s wrong?” Fernando immediately asked, “What happened? Do you need money?”

“No, no,” Talia interjected, “What he means is that he’s struggling.” She gestured to Peter, “With two business he’s got no time, he’s at the travel agency all alone all day because everyone is working at the dry cleaning place!” 

“So why don’t you just send Aaron or Sarah to the Travel Agency, and go work with Nina at the Dry Cleaners.” Fernando supplied, looking at the two of them in confusion. Peter paused and actually contemplated that.

“Actually that’s a good idea-“

“ _No_.” Talia interrupted again, pursing her lips, “That’s a _very_ _bad_ idea , Peter.” Fernando frowned at her, “Because, uh, neither Aaron nor Sarah knows how to use a computer . ”

Derek took that as his cue and immediately walked over, pretending to pour them all some tea as slowly as possible while not making eye contact with his dad.

“Computer huh…” Fernando muttered, rubbing his chin, “Computer?” He smacked his hand down, “Ha! Derek!” 

“Yes?” Derek tried to look as surprised as possible without overselling it.

“Derek can go to the travel agency and work for you, and you send Aaron to work for us!” Fernando leaned back with a smile, “Problem fixed!”

“Wow!” Talia said with too much excitement, “I would have never thought of that.” She leaned over and kissed Fernando on the cheek, “It’s  so good we have you, my  wonderful mate.”  Derek smiled to himself and walked away quietly, his dad preening under his mother’s praise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All art is mine. My tumblr is sourwoif.tumblr.com 
> 
> Again, I have no beta, so if you see any mistakes, don't hesitate to tell me! : )


	5. Old Ladies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally.

“Hello, Mrs. Sanders? I’ve got your ticket to Morocco pulled up. Your itinerary will be sent to your email, yes perfect. Hold please.” Derek pressed the button on the receiver, a pleased grin on his face, “Hi? British Airlines? Yes, I need to bump that ticket to first class with your frequent fliers package. Thanks,” He was in the _groove_ , in the _zone_ , zipping across the office in his rolling chair to put some files away, scooting back to his desk before jumping up and walking to get some water. He didn’t even notice someone watching him through the window.

Just as he poured himself a cup, he looked up and froze to see the pale angel. Just- watching him, with a bemused expression and a hot dog in his hand. Oh god. The guy raised his hot dog in hello and flashed the cutest smile, and Derek’s face immediately fell into its default blank expression, his eyes narrowed a little in disbelief. The guy kept smiling at him, although he did lower the hot dog after a moment. He got distracted when a stranger stopped him to ask for the time, turning away. While he did, Derek slowly slid down the wall, the water tank working as a hiding place. He could see the guy looking back through the window, and he looked confused for a moment, as if unsure if Derek ever existed. He must not have noticed him hiding, because he turned and left, and Derek lost sight of him.

Disappointed curled in his chest, and he cursed at himself. He stood up, walking up to the window to check where the guy went, and saw his red hoodie get swallowed up into the crowds.

***

He sat sandwiched between his two parents, staring at the TV screen unseeing. Hell, it could have been hardcore porn and he wouldn’t have noticed, too caught up in his head. The doorbell ringing jolted him, and he started to get up, but his mother stopped him.

“I’ve got it,” Talia stood, walking to the door and tugging it open. The policeman standing there nudged Derek’s grandma forward.

“You missing something?” He deadpanned, while grandma turned to growl at him.

“Grandma!” Talia chuckled, tugging her inside the house, “Thank you so much, Officer, you found my mother-in-law, again.”

“ _Maldito cazadore_ ,” Grandma hissed at the officer.

The officer frowned, “If I see her naked on the highway, or hiding in the playground shifted again, I’m taking her to jail.” Before Talia could say anything else, the officer stormed off, leaving Derek’s mother to awkwardly usher grandma into the living room. “Hi everyone. Looks who’s back again.” Derek and Fernando murmured hello, they’d already heard the entire conversation at the door.

“You know, Derek,” His dad started as soon as everyone was seated back in their spots, “There are two kinds of people in this world: werewolves, and people who wish they were werewolves.”

“Yes, god, I know. Everyone knows!” Derek growled in exasperation, standing up and leaving the room. Talia blinked after him, turning back to Fernando.

“What’s up with him?” She muttered to Fernando.

***

He was typing away at the computer again when he noticed the pale angel walking past the agency front slowly, pretending to stare at the sign, sneaking glances at Derek. It was adorable, frankly, and Derek did his best to ignore it, pursing his lips and continuing to type. Then, the guy turned around walked back again, doing the unsubtle sneak staring once more. This time, Derek couldn’t help the little smile tugging at his lips, and he started stealing glances too. The guy waved awkwardly, a little half jerk of the hand, as he continued walking comically slow, sheepishly smiling at Derek through the glass. Derek’s little smile grew into a grin as he played with a pen, watching the guy raise a finger for Derek to wait just a moment before scrambling out of sight. The phone rang and Derek fumbled to pick it up, pulling on his headset.

“Yes, hello? This is-, yes that’s what we do,” Derek glanced over right as the guy started dancing across the side walk in the oddest flail he had ever seen. He had to smother his mouth

with his hand to keep his laughter down when the guy ran into an old woman and stumbled to the ground. Then she started beating him with her purse. “S-sorry, ma’am, no, continue, what did you want?” Derek choked out.

He heard the door open, could smell and hear the pale angel’s nervousness. He was coming closer, and Derek lifted a finger, “One moment, sir,” He turned back to the computer, typing rapidly, “Yes, well I can book you a ticket in two weeks and you can choose from a set of hotels and then we can find what you want to do tomorrow, okay bye.” He rushed out rapidly, hanging up quickly and staring up at the guy. The pale angel gave a lopsided smile, one hand shoved into his pocket and the other coming up again in that awkward wave.

“Hi.” He greeted, hand dropping to hide in his other pocket.

“Hi.” Derek breathed, his voice failing him like it usually did. There was a silent pause between them where they both just stared at each other, both of them with those dumb love-struck smiles. He shook himself out of it and stood up slowly, “Did you- uh, want to look at some brochu-fuck!“ He fell backwards, the traitorous headset he had been wearing deviously dragging him to the floor, and his head smacked into the desk when he tried to sit up.

Derek turned his head sideways and came face to face with the brochures he’d put under the desk. Huh. When he looked up, the guy was leaning over the desk, tilting his head with an amused expression, “Uh, found them.”

***

Cracking his head on the floor ended up being the perfect ice breaker, because next thing he knew they were both huddled on the floor, him and the pale angel whose name was actually Stiles. He also knew Stiles was a professor at the nearby University, and his real name wasn’t Stiles, and he was absolutely fucking adorable. And hot, and handsome, and Derek barely kept himself from clinging to the other and snuffling against his throat.

“See, I thought you were just so swept off your feet by my amazing face and honeyed words.” Stiles laughed, his arm pressing a hot line against Derek’s.

“Right, because your smooth line of “Hi” just makes me go weak in the knees.” Derek retorted, shoving Stiles lightly but laughing with him as well. They calmed down together, the silence something more companionable than what Derek was used to. He looked at Stiles again, smiling as he noticed the barely visible bruise on the bridge of his nose.

“What happened there?” He motioned to Stiles’ nose, watching the human fumble a little to cover it with his hand.

“Nah, nothing, nothing,” Stiles mumbled, his cheeks starting to redden.

“C’mon, biker fights? Snowboarding accident?” Derek urged, the grin not leaving his face.

“Really, you don’t wanna know.”

“Well, I don’t know about that…” He shrugged, “If I survived an old lady ass kicking, I think I’d brag about it.”

“Oh my god, shut up.” Stiles laughed, knocking his shoulder against Derek’s and hiding his face more. Derek tried to find a way to wrench away the human’s hands, but it was just an excuse to touch Stiles more. They struggled against each other, laughter trading between them. He finally stopped when the other was out of breath. Stiles licked his lips and glanced up at Derek, lowering his hands, “Wanna go out to dinner with me?”

“Yeah,” Derek ducked his head, biting the inside of his cheek to keep from smiling too hard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ALL MISTAKES ARE MY OWN  
> please let me know if you spot any! I hate grammar/spelling mistakes it is my pet peeve.
> 
> My tumblr is sourwoif.tumblr.com


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